Easter with Brother Traian Dorz at Periprava-Grind
“Made my tears bread day and night, when I was told: ‘Where is your God?’” (Ps. 41:3)
It is a great gift from God to live in fellowship with His chosen people. Among the many gifts I have received in life, one of the most precious has been the opportunity to meet and experience holy moments with our great spiritual leaders: Father Paisie de la Sihla, Father Nicodim Măndiță, Father Seraphim de la Sâmbăta, Father Nicolae Steinhardt, and others.
During my years of imprisonment in Gherla and the Periprava-Grind labor colony, I met other devoted souls placed at God’s service, such as Father Dimitrie Blidaru from Jdioara and Father Ioan Năftănăilă from Sâmbăta de Sus. Above all, I had the privilege of living alongside Brother Traian Dorz, sharing almost three years in the same dormitory and even the same bed. If a corrupt man can lead one toward evil, a holy man elevates, sanctifies, and builds the soul.
It was around 1960, approaching the Feast of the Resurrection. Father Blidaru, who knew the Divine Liturgy by heart, celebrated it Sunday after Sunday, though without the Holy Sacrifice. The greatest gift, however, was given by Brother Traian, who, knowing Sacred Scripture thoroughly, would write the texts of the Apostle and Gospel on pieces of soap. We memorized these texts and recited them during our moving, improvised Masses, followed by Brother Traian’s profound sermons.
That year, through the intercession of a faithful guardian, Loan Pocora, we were allowed to receive pure wine in a medicine bottle. On Holy and Great Thursday of the Passion, Father Dimitrie Blidaru celebrated the Holy Mass using the bread that Brother Traian had received. Joyfully, we also received Holy Communion on the second and third days, enabling over 1,500 inmates, Greek and Roman Catholics alike, to partake, a profound sign of unity in Christ our Savior.
The evenings of that blessed year, during Holy Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, were particularly memorable. After our “Mass of Denial,” celebrated entirely from memory, Brother Traian preached to us about the salvific sufferings of the Lord. Walking alongside our Lord towards Golgotha, in Gethsemane, the cross of our dungeon seemed lighter. Hunger, thirst, and disease faded as we absorbed the depth of the Seven Words spoken by the Savior on the Cross. Witnessing the Lamb of God, stripped and scourged, gave us strength to endure our own humiliation and suffering.
On the night of the Resurrection, the midnight shift of prayer was assigned to the priests in each dormitory, who murmured the songs of the Holy Resurrection in silence. The next day, after the “Rouse” and the proclamation, “Christ is risen,” a great temptation arose. Some priests had consecrated bread to be distributed to prisoners as anafura and pascha, including those in solitary confinement. The guard discovered this, reporting it to the commander, who placed all the priests, including Brother Traian, in chains for seven days, encompassing the entire Holy Week. Even in chains, however, the Spirit of the Lord was upon Brother Traian, and he emerged radiant with the songs of the Resurrection. From this sacred time, immortal hymns were born:
“Holy Resurrection, you have come to us
You have given us sunshine and strength
Holy feast, Jesus
For the souls who love you
Holy comfort you give us today
Every sorrow you dispel
Holy Feast, you are our Jesus
For us who sing hymns to you.”
Even in captivity, the risen Jesus brings comfort, joy, and victory to His beloved. As the Psalmist David reminds us, “My tears have made me bread day and night, though they are called upon me all my days: Where is your God?” (Ps. 43:1). In that fiery furnace of suffering, our tears became immortal bread, the purest form of prayer. Brother Traian shared the bread of the Word of God, satisfying souls thirsting for God.
Through such trials, the bread of immortal and victorious songs was baked. Though men asked, “Where is your God?” we felt Him within us entirely. “If the Lord had not been with us when men rose against us alive, they would have swallowed us up” (Ps. 123). Yet “those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion; they will not be shaken forever” (Ps. 124:1). Our foundation is a rock stronger than Zion: the rock of life is Calvary, it is Jesus crucified.
I thank the Holy Father, our Savior Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit for these unforgettable moments with Brother Traian Dorz, who served God and us with total dedication. To Him be the glory, honor, and blessing forever and ever. Amen. Praised be the Lord Jesus.
(Testimony of Father Jacob, former political prisoner – In memory of Traian Dorz. Testimonies 20 years after his passing into eternity, edited by Corneliu Clop, Oastea Domnului Publishing House, Sibiu, 2009, pp. 141-144)