Facing a giant
During the long series of years of misfortune, in different situations and places, several priests who knew me suggested that I study theology or become a monk after my release from prison. To each of them I gave more or less the same answer: the mission is too great and I would take on this obligation before society and before God, who would crush me. I know that I cannot take on this responsibility. If I were to become God’s soldier, all I would have to do would be to walk on the paths that Jesus Christ has shown us, and, sinner that I am, I am afraid of treading on the other side. Then everything in me would crumble and I would consider myself a defeated man. Last summer, in the monastery of Petru Vodă, after I had told my troubles and my sins, Father Protosyngellos Iustin Pârvu said to me:
– Grigore, I propose that you come to the monastery and I’ll make you a monk. We will be together in good times and bad, and I will help you in every situation to follow the Word of God. The world will open up to you and the sky, which you look at with so much love, will always be open to you.
I went back years ago and remembered the proposal of those priests in prison who asked me the same thing.
– I can’t, Father Justin, I replied, the burden I would put on my shoulders would crush me. As a servant of the Lord, I cannot understand to look to the side, but only to the front and only to the blue sky…
Father smiled and told me to think it over and to come to the monastery at least once a month. I reluctantly got up from my chair and, having given him this answer, found myself in the position of a small man facing a giant…
In just 11 years, from 1992 to the present hour, here are the achievements of this living Saint with whom I once shared the cells of Aiud: the monasteries of “Petru Vodă”, Urecheni, Rădeni, Blaj, the nunnery of “Petru Vodă” and the chapel of Aiud in Râpa Robilor. There is also a children’s school, an old people’s home and a herbal laboratory. We left the chapel of the priest who manages to receive parishioners from all over the country every day for 18 or even 20 hours of the 24-hour day, listening to their needs, their sorrows and their disasters. For each of them, in addition to a kind word of advice, he finds a solution, a way to the light. I tried to make a comparison between my person and his, and I realised that a parallel could hardly exist, because the differences between us are great, while the similarities are few…
When I left the monastery, I looked back and felt that, having reached the gate of heaven, I had to return to earth…
(Grigore Caraza, Aiud însângerat, edited by Adrian Alui Gheorghe, 5th edition, Tipo Moldova Publishing House, Iași, 2013, pp. 303-304)