“God is with us at all times” – interview with Father Roman Braga

A representative of Wonder magazine visited Assumption Monastery in Rives Junction, Michigan, to interview Fr. Roman Braga, who was born and served in Romania under the communist regime. We present many thanks to Father and the sisters for this interview.

– Father, first tell us about your monastic lifestyle.

– A good question. But before answering it, it is necessary to know the cultural peculiarities of the period of my youth – the 20s and 50s. I believe that the Romanian people have always been inclined towards a monastic way of life, although this way of life is not exclusively characteristic of the monastic space.

When the Saviour preached: “…If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” or “whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27), this was not addressed to monks, for they did not exist at that time. Here Jesus Christ is addressing all people, the unmarried as well as the married. In a sense, then, there is no distinction between monks and others in terms of the virtues. We are all called to fulfil them. Here is an example: those who wish to dedicate their lives to the Saviour and to the Church, choosing salvation through monasticism, may find themselves in the position of having to resist the wishes of their parents who see them living a worldly life. But we must remember that God has priority for us, and parents and family come second.

We must follow God first, because He is our Father, the Father of all – a consequence that is even a monastic element. Even abstinence is not reserved for monks. Most married people and lay people in general practice abstinence more than celibates or monks, which means abstaining from certain foods, alcoholic beverages etc. The same abstinence is found in American culture, but only under medical restrictions.

God urges us to abstain in order to keep us from, or free us from, the dominion of material and temporary things. This material attachment hinders personal development. Disillusionment, addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking or overeating enslave man and rob him of his freedom. God, however, wants man to be free, in His own image and likeness, just as He created him: “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;” (Genesis 1:26).

So the virtues of married people are the same as those of monks, the only difference being that monks retire to these monastic communities because they want to worship God free from social obligations. Monks do not marry, but they take a different vow of chastity and poverty, motivated by the desire not to be tied to material possessions. They do not own property or anything other than objects of personal use. In the monasteries, their outfit is different – long robes and garments, they are considered the army of Christ.

At this very moment the Holy Synod of the Orthodox Church in America is being held in our monastery. The Holy Synod is composed of bishops chosen by the Church from among the monks. The vow of obedience is also part of the vows taken by the monks, so every commission must be fulfilled. If the monk is sent to found a monastery, he will obey. Since he has no house or other possessions, he will pack a simple bag and leave as soon as he receives the order.

This is what can be called “manifest monasticism”, for which a certain vocation is required. There is also the possibility for everyone to follow the path of the virtues: abstinence, renunciation of one’s own will, accepting and bearing one’s cross, and all the other virtues that are common to both the secular and the monastic. In short, the goal is the same for those who are married and for those who have given themselves to monasticism.

Marriage is not easy either. It also requires a lot of asceticism in the family. For example, when there are three, four or five children, it can happen that the parent does not eat in order to leave more for them, thus practising sacrifice for others.

On the territory of Romania, a small country the size of Ohio, there are almost 500 monasteries, and many monks and nuns have always lived in our country. They are not restricted, they can be seen outside the monasteries doing their various jobs, even in shops or markets. So, to return to the discussion of monasticism, it can be said that the extent to which people choose to dedicate their lives in this way depends on the culture of the country, but also on the way in which each person responds to the call of the Gospel.

– Can you tell us what made you choose the monastic life?

– I didn’t give myself to the monastery when I was young. I was imprisoned twice, and after the first time I became a monk because I was more mature. The experience of suffering makes you think. I was a teacher in a high school in Bucharest. I was mature enough to understand some things and to ask myself why I hadn’t married by the time I was 30, or whether I should marry again. Prison gave me the time to think more carefully about the two options: marriage and family or monastic life. I chose monasticism.

As a teenager, I was introduced to monastic life by attending the Cernica Seminary in Bucharest, and I liked it very much and it became a natural way of life for me.

– Tell us what it was like to be a Christian during the communist regime.

– Being a Christian required many compromises. For example, if you had children, they were told at school that there was no God, that they should not pray, wear a cross around their neck or go to church. But the children would go home and their grandmother would pray with them and make the sign of the cross. We kept the Christian life within the family, because nothing could be externalised because of the prohibitions.

– What happened to churches and monasteries during the communist regime?

– Churches were tolerated because Romania was a predominantly Orthodox country. The Church was very powerful and the communist regime did not want to risk anything. However, some of the monasteries were closed and the others were declared historical monuments. So the communist regime turned the monasteries into museums, keeping some of the monks as guides or to maintain the libraries, archives and visitor areas. In this way, the monastery churches managed to remain open and functional.

As all monks and nuns under the age of 50 were expelled from all monasteries to work in the state service under Decree No. 410 of the Communist government, the monks who remained in the monastery museums maintained the liturgical rites and held all the usual services. They managed to survive at the mercy of the faithful, who continued to attend services in the monasteries. The Communists could not control this because they were not so interested in persecuting ordinary people. They were much more interested in intellectuals, because they were influencers and leaders of groups.

The Roman Catholic Church was also heavily persecuted by the communist regime. With 90% of the population being Orthodox, the measures taken in the monasteries were limited to the removal of the young monks, while the older ones maintained a minimal life and services; during this time the Catholic Church had its property confiscated and was marginalised as a minority belonging to other nationalities.

– How did your personal struggles against the communist government affect your spiritual life?

– The communists could not control the human interior, but especially for a monk, a priest or a Christian, expression and externalisation were impossible. The same was true for intellectuals in general. Not all intellectuals were integrated into the communist system, forced to lead a double life in order to survive, and forced to express something other than what they thought, thought or felt.

In this extremely difficult lifestyle, people no longer knew what it meant not to be afraid, to say only what the government required in order to get or keep a job, to provide for their families. But thoughts and beliefs could not be controlled.

In a way, we were happy in prison. I am not talking about the physical tortures, because although they caused suffering, even death, they were easier to bear than the style of imprisonment itself, which was a constant balancing act between normal and abnormal. From the point of view of prayer time, prison could be useful for a priest. After being sentenced for no reason, one ended up in a cell where there was nothing to do. It was a very good time, especially for priests and intellectuals who were locked up alone for a year or two. Not being able to go outside or even look out of a window, you escaped inside, into your own heart, into your own mind, and you had the chance for self-examination and self-knowledge. You asked yourself why God sent you into the world, what your relationship was with God and whether God really existed.

When we were free, we didn’t have time to ask such questions. Our faith was superficial, because if we don’t know ourselves, nothing we learn is worth anything. Even if you know everything there is to know in this world, you remain superficial if you don’t ask yourself: who am I, why do I exist, what is my purpose in the world, what did God create me for, what will God ask of me if I start to believe. In freedom you don’t ask such questions because you are in a hurry to achieve a lot and to read a lot, so you become a slave to books, a slave to knowledge, to philosophical ideas and so on. But you don’t have time to think about who you are. Because as long as you are free, your reality becomes the quotations in the books. In prison we weren’t allowed to have books. For 11 years I didn’t see a pencil, a piece of paper or a book, not just me, but all the intellectuals and all the priests. The Communists gave books and newspapers to the simple people in an effort to indoctrinate them. They had other plans for intellectuals: to turn them into beasts. The interesting thing is that this did not happen, on the contrary: self-analysis brought you closer to yourself.

Once you got out of prison, they were interested in you not talking about what you had experienced in prison, so many of us were deported so as not to tell the country what had happened.

– How did you confess Christ in prison?

– Most of my time in prison was spent in solitary confinement. I was also in a forced labour facility where there were prayer groups and we had priests who confessed. Every priest had his own group. The spiritual activity was more intense there because there wasn’t as much control. It was a big community and the communists were interested in the workload.

Otherwise in prison it was impossible to talk about Christ, even if you were alone or even with two people in the cell. Sometimes there were four in the same cell, but you could only talk in a small group.

In the labour camp we could even enjoy the Holy Mass, with priests, but without vestments, and nothing but a piece of bread and some tonic wine from the hospital doctors. I was in this camp with 16,000 people. The hospital doctors were still prisoners and they sent the wine and we kept two pieces of bread from the morning meal so that we could serve the Holy Mass. The guards didn’t know about it, when they came by they thought we were just singing songs and stuff. I even remember in prison how a priest would serve the Holy Mass under a blanket and when a guard came in, he didn’t know anything.

– Why is suffering important as a Christian?

– Suffering is good for everyone, not just for Christians. Those who do not suffer do not understand much. Suffering is a useful experience and even the Scriptures confirm this. In the Epistle to the Hebrews, chap. 13, Saint Paul tells us that if we do not suffer, we are not sons of God. What father does not punish his children? Punishment comes from love. If we do not suffer, we are not children of God. After the experience of suffering, one can understand more of this world in a deeper way than if one had not experienced any hardship. Suffering matures us spiritually and we should not shy away from it. But we should not seek it either, because God takes care of it. There is so much suffering in the world, so many families with children in hospital. My doctor has an 11-year-old daughter with bone cancer. The parents are young and what suffering there can be in this family whose daughter may die. We wonder why?

God allows beggars and invalids in this world because that is how we learn mercy. We have to practise our love, because love is not only theoretical, it is as practical as possible. That is why there are orphans, disabled people and so many human misfortunes, so that we can practise our charity and fulfil the commandment: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbour as yourself” (Luke 10:27).

What kind of love is that? What if your neighbour does not need your love?

Love is not just a handshake or a warm embrace. It’s going up to the helpless person on the street, embracing them and asking what you can do for them. That is love. To live not only for oneself, but for others, putting oneself aside and thinking only of others. That is the Christian life. Not always saying “me”, “about me”, “for me”. Who am I? Nobody.

Let’s try not to be so focused on ourselves. It is very different to say, “Can I do something for you?”, “Maybe you need me”, that is the Christian love. So suffering is left in the world by God so that other Christians can turn their love to those in that condition and do something for them, putting themselves aside. Suffering is destined in our lives so that we understand why the Saviour was crucified on the cross.

I am ready to forgive. I pray for those who tortured us in prison. I have nothing against them because I understand that they had to do it. You can only forgive if you have suffered. If you have not suffered, you are not ready to forgive and then you are lost.

There was a producer who made a film with Father Gheorghe Calciu and me. The reporter asked me, “Can you forgive them?” Why not? I am the image of Christ. We know that in that regime they were forced to kill us, to torture us and whatever else they were ordered to do, otherwise their families had nothing to put on the table. So you can forgive if you have suffered. If you haven’t suffered you will say “no, no, no, you shouldn’t do that and if you do you will be punished”. So suffering is very important in the Christian life.

– How is life in America different from what you experienced in Romania?

– I thought I was in a free country. And it is in the following aspect: you have the freedom to do whatever you want, as long as you don’t offend anyone, because if you do, you will suffer the consequences. As for freedom of thought and conscience, I doubt that we are free, because in the freedom to do whatever you want, you destroy yourself if you are not mature. Freedom without responsibility is not real. Only when you can’t do what you want then you do understand freedom. But the idea “I want to do what I want” does not bring you freedom.

Let’s remember Genesis, the first book of the Bible, when God created man. He didn’t understand freedom until God told him not to touch the tree, the symbol of the knowledge of good and evil. So if God created man free, why did He set that limit? Because without that limit, man did not understand the meaning of freedom, because freedom remained just a word. So without discipline, freedom cannot exist. In American culture, many people believe that they don’t have to respect anyone or anything because they are free to do whatever they want. This is not freedom.

– How do we find Christ in American society today?

– Jesus Christ is first and foremost in each of us. He is not some “nice guy”, but God Himself, and God is in each of us. He is in our conscience, he is in our heart, he is in our mind, and I don’t mean a material presence. You find God within yourself when you try to penetrate your personality. We are eternal because although the body will go to the cemetery at some point, our consciousness or soul person will continue to exist. So when you go into yourself, the consciousness is infinite. And that infinity is the very temple of the living God. St. Paul reminds us on many occasions that we are the temple of God because He lives in us. You find God when you begin to know yourself, when you come to know who you are. If you neglect this knowledge because you don’t have time to think about yourself, you will not find God because He has no material existence and cannot be found in a particular place. God is always with you if you want Him to be with you.

So you will find God when you find yourself. In response to the question, “Who am I?” listen to these words of the Scripture: “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:6). And Jesus said, “AAbide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5).

Those who complain that they cannot feel God are dry branches. They must remain with Christ and say: “Lord, come. I am here, You created me. Open to me the heart that You have made. Please come through this door!”

We must talk to God wherever we are. If you’re walking down the street, driving your car, you can say, “God, You’re driving, I know You’re here. Tell me something: why did You create me? There are an infinite number of subjects, an infinite number of conversations that you can have with God and He wants you to talk to Him because prayer is not so much what you read in the book or how much time you spend on your knees, prayer is your whole life. When you eat, when you drink, when you drive your car, when you discipline your children – you are in a state of prayer.

Your whole life is a Holy Mass if you have a sense of God’s existence. Liturgy doesn’t just take place in the church, it also takes place outside the church. But you have to understand the existence of God. How? I always tell young people to be in constant dialogue with Him. Of course they’re busy – eating, preparing for exams, or working, always busy, but they have to say, “Lord, I know You’re here and I haven’t forgotten you. Don’t leave me either”. So that kind of constant dialogue with God becomes prayer, because that is what prayer is: the constant communication of man with the divinity.

Prayer is not limited to a period of time, after which it ends, because the feeling of God’s presence in us is a continuous prayer. A monk once said that if you pray just for the sake of praying, you are not praying at all. So we should not think that prayer ends when we think it does, because it is not only asking, but also showing love and giving your time.

Ask God for something and God will answer you even when you are not thinking. He will give you suggestions and hints on how to find solutions. In our culture, God can be found by first trusting in His existence, both outside us and within us. You will see that God is always with us, and you will truly feel His existence and even His presence.

(Wonder magazine, English translation by the Drum European platform)