Jimboiu – the figure of an eastern ascetic who radiated goodness

A few days later, as I moved around the room, I noticed a young man who was different from all the others. He had the face of an Eastern ascetic, radiating goodness. (…)

I noticed that this young man was also watching me. At one point he caught me looking at him: I had to lean against the wall to keep my balance. Something inexplicable had come over me and it was as if a force other than my will was resisting this gaze. I shuddered and realised that a spirit different from the one that possessed me was ravaging my soul.

Exhausted, I lay down on the bed. My face was as if I were dead, the blood drained from my cheek. Seeing my pallor, my comrades asked me what was wrong. I replied that I was not feeling well. I shall never forget the night that followed. The spirit of Satan, who had held me, tortured me and frightened me, could not bear the look with which Jimboiu – that was the young man’s name – looked at me.

The next morning he approached me and invited me to sit on his veranda and talk to him. The spirit that held me back prevented me from taking this step, but Jimboiu’s gesture – he had taken my hand – made me follow him.

The first thing he said to me was:

– Brother, you are sick, do not be afraid and trust me. Open your heart and tell me what’s on your mind; maybe I can help you.

In a few words I told him everything that was on my conscience. He replied to my confession:

– You have done a great wrong before God. Why didn’t you try to continue praying in Pitești?

I told him that I didn’t know who had stopped me. He asked me if I still prayed.

– I do, but I don’t feel anything; my heart is made of stone, was my answer.

– Since when do you pray, do you ask God for forgiveness?

He continued in response to my negative answer:

– Have you cried?

Again, no.

– I want to know how you pray.

After I told him the prayer I pray, he replied that I pray well.

– But I feel that God has abandoned me.

– Don’t offend God, He hasn’t abandoned you, you have offended Him, he told me.

After this exchange of words, I thought I had spoken to an angel, because the power that emanated from him silenced the spirits that tormented me.

From then on he invited me to talk to him every day. When I realised what kind of man he was and how great his spiritual power was, I asked him to pray for me too.

– I will pray, he replied, but it requires a personal effort.

The offence against God can only be wiped away with the tears of repentance. Only when you pray with tears and repent will God hear your voice and forgive you.

(Dumitru Bordeianu – Confessions from the Swamp of Despair, Scara Publishing House, Bucharest, 2000, 2nd edition, pp. 376-379)