The beginnings of the passions

The soul soars high and blood drips from the wounds carved by chains. I had chains on my hands and feet. Not knowing how to protect ourselves – we learned later – they broke our ankles and hands as well. Great pain was to come later, for the wounds got infected.

The van in which we were transported was smelly and filthy. We had travelled all night from Bucharest to Aiud. The train’s wheels squeaked and the bumpy ride came to an end.

The van was unhitched and left at Aiud station. The guards appeared and ordered us to get off. We had a lot of luggage – I had a feeling that this persecution was going to be long – and it was heavy because we had a lot of books to study. I saw the prison as a university of devotion and sacrifice, as well as an opportunity for study and meditation. We jumped out of the car with difficulty, throwing our luggage at each other.

The snow was deep and the winter frost of January 1942 had frozen the German tanks around Moscow. We were young and full of dreams. Many people had come to the station to see us, but three circles of soldiers and guards surrounded us. “Load your weapons!” came the order, and we heard the metallic clang of guns aimed at us. I smiled bitterly and defiantly at the same time.

What use was all this masquerade of violence and terror when none of us had ever carried a weapon, or even thought of carrying one? Apart from our lofty aspirations, we carried nothing dangerous.

The soldiers were young like us, but the military uniform dehumanises. The guards did their duty according to their own souls. But the Major Magistrate – then only a captain, but soon to be a major – who proudly wore the beautiful blue uniform of the military judiciary, was above them all.

The Major Magistrate was a man in his forties, well built, stout and distinguished by his white hair, which gave him a false nobility. He was sleepless, sour and unshaven, so much so that I felt he had come from the front. He looked at us, the soldiers and the audience with severity. He gave the impression that he was carrying out a mission so important that it would decide the fate of mankind.

We crossed our eyes and smiled at their rude deception. Major Magistrate shouted in a hoarse, thunderous voice:

– Listen to my command! From this moment on, you are under my command. I demand discipline without murmuring or wavering. The soldiers will fire at will if you try to make any disturbance. We’re leaving in convoy for the prison. I will suppress any indiscipline. Get ready, we’re moving out!

The convoy set off with difficulty, for we were swimming in snow, weighed down with baggage and chained hand and foot. We said goodbye at Liberty Station. We looked at the sky, then at the orchard houses and the frightened faces of men, women and children, pausing with heartbreak at the girls who smiled at us for the last time, for from now on the world was closed off to us by bars and bars and high walls. We were hungry, but deep inner forces gave us the feeling of climbing towards the ideal. (…)

The Major Magistrate announced:

– Each prisoner is entitled to one set of clothes, three changes of underwear, one pair of shoes, one bar of soap and toothpaste. All books will be censored and given to you according to your behaviour. You will only be allowed to write one letter a month and you will be allowed to write one letter a month that will pass through the censor. You will only be allowed to receive one food parcel per month of up to 10 kilos. You have been sentenced under common law and will serve your sentences under a strict cell regime. Each of you will be taken to a cell. One hour a day you will be taken out into the yard for exercise. No contact with the guards will be allowed. Any deviation from the rules will be punished. You will not be allowed to take part in any organised activity. Any complaints must be addressed to me personally, as I alone decide here. This is a state of war and martial law applies. If you try to escape you will be shot on sight, if you provoke conflict with the guards you will be severely punished. Understand that you are prisoners here. The law will not forgive you. If you oppose the destiny of the country, the army is determined to destroy you. I demand discipline without murmuring or wavering. When you meet a guard or when someone visits you, you will stand at attention with your cap off, and before you wait to be greeted, you will greet him with “Good day, Mr. Rank”; and if it is a civilian, with “Good day, Mr. Inspector”. Security personnel will address you as “you” and you will speak in the respectful plural “Sir”, and any deviation from this way of addressing will be severely punished. The Marshal and our allies are determined to inflict the severest punishment on you if you do not obey the orders and regulations in force. I do not wish to take revenge, for I have no reason to take revenge on you. You are victims of rebels who have betrayed the country, the Marshal, the army and the Allies. I’m a nationalist like you. I am a doctor of law, I wear the uniform of a military judge with honour, I was a hero in the First World War, decorated with the highest honours because my body was riddled with 36 bullets. I have an honourable family and a child whom I want to bring up in the spirit of patriotism. I am a Romanian, a native of my ancestors.

If you are disciplined and honest, you will be rehabilitated, because the country needs your energies. Nevertheless, I order discipline without wavering or murmuring.

That’s how the Major Magistrate’s words sounded when we were received in Aiud. The orders were strict. When we were searched, we were force to strip naked, but it was the so-called disciplinary humiliations that were most difficult for us to endure (…).

The suffering we endured later matured us, we found the right answers, we defined our Christian conscience, but even then, in that turbulent youth, we were animated by the most beautiful ideals. Later, we would understand the political phenomenon, but we would leave it behind when we devoted ourselves to religion. A touch of holy madness remains in us today, because Christ is still persecuted, mocked, discredited and misunderstood. The anti-Christian forces in the world are colossal, and a full Christ, as revealed to us, even Christians are not ready to receive.

(John Ianolide – Return to Christ. Document for a New World, Bonifaciu Publishing House, Bacău, 2012, pp. 30-39)