The first years of spiritual life

I was born in Romania, and having lived in the religious atmosphere of my country, with its religious services and public traditions (carols, alms giving, religious servicies, Pentecost), with faithful grandparents and a pious mother, I had the feeling and the conviction that Jesus was present everywhere, that people met him both at the altar and in their souls, that he hovered in heaven with all his angels, helping us to sanctify and save ourselves.

The relationship with Jesus was natural, intimate and permanent, life without Him was unimaginable. It seemed to me that this had always been the case and would always be the case. God gave fullness to my soul. He was answering my need for purity, wholeness and ideals.

I had no religious upbringing, let alone theological training, and even the Christians and priests I knew at the time, with a few exceptions, could confuse even a convinced believer. But nothing troubled me, I was rather inclined towards the holiness that I felt hovering everywhere and that warmed my soul as a child and as a young man. The spiritual atmosphere in which I lived my childhood was effective in my lifelong religiosity, because it is not the teaching that is essential, but living together with God.

I realise that at that time the face of Jesus was confusing in my intellect, but intense and heavy in my inner life. He was joy, he was everything that could be beautiful, good and true, and He embraced all my desires.

So, until I was an adult, I was a traditionalist but a living Christian, Jesus was the mystery and the source of my life.

But God didn’t want me to stop there. He wanted me to discover Jesus spiritually. That’s why I went to prison when I was 21.

(John Ianolide – Return to Christ. Document for a New World, Bonifaciu Publishing House, Bacău, 2012, p. 28)