Words for the spiritual life
Conversation with Father Oprea Crăciun from Hunedoara
Shall I kiss your hand, Father? Healthy? How’s your back?
It helps me to humble myself. When I want to be proud, my back hurts.
But I suppose I should be consoled by the fact that a law has now been passed that all those who suffered under communism will receive compensation for their losses, for their suffering there. And not just them, but their wives, children and grandchildren. But that too can be politics. And they boasted that they were sending me, that I was with them in the lot, with the people of Arad, and they were sending me the papers and they were hiring a lawyer to argue my case. But as far as I’m concerned, I don’t need any help.
After this law of ’91, the Association of Former Political Prisoners was immediately organised. But I didn’t ask for anything until the people of Hunedoara forced me to do so in 1993. But I don’t need that kind of compensation. You can sue me: “In 1949 I got pneumonia in prison and I had no way of treating it. And I’ve had asthmatic bronchitis until now. I’ve been treating myself with cabbage leaves for some time. And I started to cough less, but until two years ago I used to cough for 10-15 minutes at a time until I got rid of it. And my back too, I started treating it with some herbal bands. I found a torn muscle fibre. How did I do it? I was working on the canal towards Mamaia. There you had to load a wagon, every man for himself. If you didn’t want to, God only knows what would have happened to you. The ground was clay, it was very clammy. It was very clammy in those days, and when I threw the earth I dug with a shovel, it stuck to the shovel; it was hard to get it off. And throwing like that, the muscle fibres under the left shoulder blade came off. I couldn’t get dressed. The shirt was only held on by a Macedonian to put it on my back. I couldn’t do it. For a month he put me on a wagon, because I could only work with one hand; all the wagons on all the trains “I also got an infection in my leg. One of our doctors, a prisoner, operated on me, the infirmary was opposite our brigade. But I wasn’t released from work until the day of the operation. I was on crutches, digging for the railway. And you had to do your time, even if you were on one leg. My father saw me on crutches, he had come without a permit because they didn’t give him a permit to come here to the hut. And he came home and he was so happy to see me that he died a few weeks later. My mother died soon after I was sentenced, but she didn’t know I was still alive.
Same happened to Father Justin.
I’m a little boy next to Father Justin. But the Saviour rewarded his suffering and gave him the gift of alleviating people’s suffering, because not in vain do so many monks, nuns and lay people come to his door. And I too try to imitate Father Justin and not close the door to anyone who comes to me. I’ve noticed that when someone enters a bar, the bartender doesn’t throw them out. So should I show them the door? Although sometimes people come to bar with spiritual matters. You may have read the story of a monk who was troubled by this question: Why do some die young, others die old, and others toil and still won’t die? Do you know the parable of the drunkard who went to heaven and the cobbler who stayed in hell?
It says that one person dies every six seconds on earth. And there’s a queue at the door of heaven. Peter knows the man and his condition. And in the line of those who go to the door of heaven comes a man who is staggering. And his nose was red and his cheek was puffed. And he was staggering left and right, slipping. As he approached, St. Peter took the key out of the door. If this man is going to heaven, what will I do if he is a drunkard? And drunkards have no place in heaven, nor robbers nor blasphemers. And when he came to the door, Peter was told to turn to let this man in. The saint made a large cross: “Man, I’ve been deceived again.” Among those who came, he noticed one who was a shoemaker. He was about 35 years old and had had tuberculosis since he was 15. In those days there was no medicine for tuberculosis. Married, with about 3-4 children, he lived from his work. After so many years of suffering, coughing and working, “Peter thought: let’s open the door to him. And he opens the door to heaven. When he reaches the door, he hears: Take this one to hell. It didn’t fit with his calculations. It can’t be. He asked: “Lord, have the rules changed? Why, Peter? Well, drunkards, adulterers and other fornicators don’t go to heaven. And the one with the red nose and puffy cheek, You told me to send him to heaven, and this one who has suffered all his life, You send him to hell. Isn’t it enough that he has suffered? Peter, it’s like this: the one who goes in heaven never said a bad word to Me. Every time he raised his glass, he said: May God grant health and peace in the world. This one, whenever he dropped the hammer on his fingers, also raised his finger to heaven with many curses against Me.” And St. Peter understood. And since then this saying has remained: Look, with your mouth you can win heaven and hell. And if you want your prayers to be accepted with joy, be careful what you speak.
Father, how is it to fight the form of false humility, because it is harder? If it’s blatant pride, at least you know.
When Satan tricks me, he makes me to see myself holy.
But when we are utterly powerless, on the verge of despair, doesn’t that also come from pride?
No, not always. If I say it sincerely and realise that I can’t do anything without Him, then I’m being sincere. But if I feel that I’m no good anymore and I have thoughts of suicide, then it’s a big problem. That’s where the evil of despair leads. I have been working on the translation of the book “Towards Tabor” by Father Ilarion Felea and these theological virtues “faith, hope and love” need to be well analysed and are even analysed in Volume III, but they need to be followed and fulfilled step by step. God often listens to the humble. Helplessness teaches me not to trust in something that I am working or doing. If I do something, I do it as a duty and as a command.
But the idea that we can be purer?
That’s another matter: “I don’t purify myself quickly from the passion of lust. It takes hard work and effort. That is why, in the second part of the book “Towards Tabor”, we learn slowly, slowly, how to purify ourselves, but it must not be read only once, “in order to translate into personal life the awareness of the mission that every Christian has from the moment of Baptism, to know Christ and to bear witness to Him. To put into practice all the admonitions and all the teachings of the Saviour. He who dares to do this will never consider himself fulfilled, but will approach things seriously, convinced of what he is saying, but humbly considering things for their true value for others and for himself. This was Father Stăniloae, but also Father Arsenie. Father Arsenie had a special gift. He was a visionary, he was a special man. He knew from afar what people had in their hearts, whether they were good for something, whether they were good for a grain of wheat or good for rubbish. And rubbish is good because you can’t make wheat without rubbish.
Therefore, the formation of monks, the formation of theologians, the formation of any Christian can be guided in a special way by the translation of these writings of Father Felea, after having experienced not only life in the Church, but also the experience of prison. Every student today and every priest who has not read them, who has not undergone this transformation that is necessary for his spirituality, should have these books. They should be in his personal library and in every parish, and every monastic face should have them, so that they can be read in the pew and at Liturgy, but also at home when he has time. Father Cleopas had a guide for confessors and abbots. It is brought from Athos and then translated by Father Cleopas into Romanian or with the references of the Christians here. And it would be absolutely necessary for priests to have it, and with this guide completed, and with the guidance of what a confessor and a priest and an abbot must then pay attention to. To know when to scold, and how kindly to scold, and how to understand, and forgive, and guide. Perhaps someone will take care of that too. This is printed with the blessing of the Bishop Casian Crăciun of Galați. It would be necessary for every priest, for every parish, for every monastery, so that we can learn to purify ourselves from our passions.
Father, but how do we read the Scriptures?
With all our heart and with confidence, because what is written there is the word of God.
But how do you thank God when you are in trouble or in temptation? But how can you thank God when you are tempted?
You must also thank God for tribulation, for all things are allowed for a reason. What if you find out Who you’ve been talking to, and He who you’ve been talking to at the well gives you some water, so that you don’t have to fetch water? Doesn’t it urge you to call the whole village to come and fetch water from the One who gives water without having to fetch water? If you remain in this attitude “
What if they lock us up in prisons and put the chip on us? Should we be like Saint Theodosia, who preferred to jump out of the window rather than lose her virginity? Or will that be considered suicide?
Well, it’s not considered suicide. She’s a saint for keeping her virginity. On the other hand, if I can manage to be a living Christian and not to take Communion without doing a fair amount repentance and self-examination, then no amount of poison can destroy me. We, all Christians, must be aware of the importance of the Lord’s Supper. Does not the Saviour say, “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has life in himself”?
If you have a temptation with someone and you disturb your peace with him and you no longer manage to love him, how do you manage to overcome this state? You try to pray for him and you still have no peace. You remember the wounds he’s inflicted on you and you feel as if he’s poisoning you: “How do you fight to be purified and able to love no matter what he does to you?”
Your Holinesses, do you still have your Horologion at hand? At the end of the great midnight service it says: “Those who hate us and cause us to sin, forgive them, Lord!”
You read the prayer, but how do you erase that feeling in your heart?
But who stops you from saying with your heart, “Lord, forgive them”? And there’s another: “The Saviour says: “Without Me you can do nothing”. And he also allows Satan to try us again. Doesn’t the Gospel of Luke say at the same time: “Pray that you may not fall into temptation”? So Christ is the one who hinders Satan. I, lest I fall into temptation, pray to the Saviour. Christ also said for some and for others, “Heavenly Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. And look how He says: “Without Me you can do nothing”. This is not easy: to pray for those who nailed you to the cross, crucified you alive. But let us pray: Help me to pray like You! A great thing “
Father, how can we receive Communion in prisons if we have no one to confess to? Can we receive absolution if we confess directly to God? What can we do in these circumstances?
We hope in God’s mercy! And even in prisons, God sends solutions. I met Father Serghie from Bârlad, a very special man. He was the confessor of the prisons there, in Aiud. But you will see in due time.
What’s the difference between a diplomat and a sage?
Like the difference between the Pharisees and Jesus Christ. That’s all.
So we don’t need diplomacy?!
What do we do with it?
Well, what is wisdom then?
Wisdom is “the degree to which we welcome Christ to dwell in us. Let us think like Him and let Him think in us.” A great thing.
But can we try to confess when we know we are unwise?
It’s good that I know I’m not wise, but I always ask God for it.
But can’t our confession be a deception to people who see that we are not wise?
I am glad that people do not think me wise. To the extent that we have this courage of confession, in the law of Christ’s love, to the extent that we do that, we are wise. God takes care of us. It is only with His help that we can form our souls. Woe betide us if we do not follow the law of love, of merciful love! Love your enemies, bless those who curse you. Feed the poor and the stranger, shelter the wayfarer, seek out the prisoner and encourage him, but also the drunkard in the hospital and the homebound. Tell everyone the law of God, so that they may not go astray. The Gospel will teach you everything.
(Interview realised by Nun Fotini and Rasofora Neonila, published in the magazine Atitudes, n. 11)